Papercut
by Salad Shooter
Summary: Yeah, another songfic by me. No, it's not about Visser Three this time, it's about Marco. (Can you tell I like Linkin Park? ha ha ... ) Anyway, R/R or else!


Why does it feel like night today?  
  
Something in here's not right today  
  
Why am I so uptight today?  
  
Paranoia's all I got left  
  
---  
  
My name is Marco.  
  
But you already knew that.  
  
I looked out my window. It was still light, but I felt like I was watching the world through sunglasses. Everything was dark.  
  
I was nervous. That day at school, I had not been able to look at anyone without thinking, "Are they a Controller?" I feel like Yeerks are watching me all the time  
  
---  
  
I don't know what stressed me first  
  
Or how the pressure was fed  
  
But I know just what it feels like  
  
To have a voice in the back of my head  
  
---  
  
Sometimes I wonder: When did I become so paranoid? Was it the day Elfangor gave us the morphing ability? Was it the day I found out Mom was a Controller — that she was the host body of Visser One?  
  
There's always been a voice inside me that laughed at everything I did. It was what helped me turn tragedy into comedy ...  
  
---  
  
It's like a face that I hold inside  
  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
  
A face watches every time I lie  
  
A face that laughs every time I fall  
  
(And watches everything)  
  
So I know that when it's time to sink or swim  
  
That the face inside is hearing me right underneath my skin  
  
---  
  
... but now that voice has been the source of my rampant paranoia.  
  
It's also what tells me the ruthless way to go, showing me the bright, clear line.  
  
The voice emotionlessly analyzes every situation I'm in. It drives me insane ...  
  
"Learn to laugh at yourself." That's what my mom used to say. Back when she was free. I did learn to laugh at myself, and now it's like I can't stop ... because of that voice  
  
---  
  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin  
  
---  
  
No matter how hard I try to get away from it, the voice is there. I can't run away from it. I can't forget about it. I can't even ignore it for two seconds.  
  
---  
  
I know I've got a face in me  
  
Points out all my mistakes to me  
  
You've got a face on the inside too and  
  
Your paranoia's probably worse  
  
---  
  
It's almost like I have a Yeerk in my head who can't control me, but can still hear my thoughts and watch everything I do.  
  
No, it's more like I'm a Yeerk, and the voice in my head — that ruthless, paranoid, unemotional voice that thinks everything is funny — is my host.  
  
Which makes me think of Visser One. That's what my mom is to her — a voice in her head she can't shut out. Someone that watches everything she does.  
  
It's probably worse for her than it is for me.  
  
That thought should be comforting.  
  
It's not  
  
---  
  
I don't know what set me off first  
  
But I know what I can't stand  
  
Everybody acts like the fact of the matter is  
  
I can't add up to what you can  
  
but everybody has a face that they hold inside  
  
A face that awakes when I close my eyes  
  
A face watches every time they lie  
  
A face that laughs every time they fall  
  
(And watches everything)  
  
So you know that when it's time to sink or swim  
  
That the face inside is watching you too right inside your skin  
  
---  
  
I know I'm not the only person to have that voice in my head. Jake's voice criticizes everything he does. It's what makes him think that he's not a good leader.  
  
Cassie's voice is pretty much her conscience. That incredibly annoying, moralizing thing that she listens to more than the rest of us do.  
  
Rachel? I don't know. She's hard to figure out. Cassie's the one who knows what people are like inside, not me. Maybe I'll talk to her about it.  
  
Tobias? Well, that's easy. His voice is the human mind in his hawk body and instincts. When he morphs human, it's the hawk mind.  
  
Ax — well, he's an alien. Do Andalites even have that little voice in the back of their head?  
  
It's sometimes a relief to know that it's not just my problem — but not always  
  
---  
  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin  
  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin  
  
The face inside is right beneath your skin  
  
The sun goes down  
  
I feel the light betray me  
  
---  
  
I was still gazing out my window, thinking about all this. The sun was setting. I felt like I was going insane, and the oncoming night did not make me feel any better.  
  
---  
  
It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back  
  
It's like a whirlwind inside of my head  
  
It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within  
  
It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin  
  
|It's like I'm paranoid lookin' over my back | |It's like a whirlwind inside of my head | |It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within | |It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within | |It's like I can't stop what I'm hearing within | |It's like the face inside is right beneath my skin |  
  
---  
  
Okay, Marco. You're thinking way too much, I told myself.  
  
It didn't help. It was that voice talking.  
  
I collapsed on my bed and tried to calm my spinning mind.  
  
I lay there awake for hours.  
  
Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I fell asleep.  
  
_________________________________________  
  
A/n: How was that? Please R/R!  
  
On Insanity Equals Happiness — I am almost finished with the fifth and final chapter. However, I will not post it until somebody reviews the fourth one! Okay? So someone review or else!  
  
Oh, and if you review it — or this — I will review something of yours (unless it's slash or about something I don't know about). Okay? Happy?  
  
~Rachel9466 


End file.
